


Unfair

by Ro (jjaero)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Tattoo Parlor, Awkward Kageyama Tobio, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Crack, Flirting, Gay, Group chat, Homosexuality, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied Sexual Content, Legs, M/M, Original Character(s), Sexual Tension, Short Amount of Time Pining, Skirts, Social Media, Thighs, This Is STUPID, chat fic, everybody is pining, inspired by another fic, they are so gay for them tbh, yamaguchi in a skirt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-01 01:57:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10911975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjaero/pseuds/Ro
Summary: Unfair, everything was unfair. Pureté, one of the most popular cliques in school, were too hot.Unfair.





	1. Kenma's Friends are Weird - Pureté Side

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Baettle of Squads (Kind Of)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5989642) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account). 



> [ SPOILERS FOR SHOKUGEKI NO SOUMA ]
> 
> For the customers part, you know when Souma and Hisako were in the first restaurant for the Stagiaire? And people went in waves and they were in such a hurry? It's kind of like that when Purete gets their customers. Except for the "hurry" part. Everybody would love to see Sugawara work.
> 
> Aha, this is going to be somewhat a mini crossover too. TO SATISFY MY NEEDS.

Kenma Kozume was anti-social. _Very_ anti-social. Up until now, he _refused_ to talk to anybody that wasn't his mom. He would ignore his classmates' remarks on how he didn't have any friends and how he was either always staring on his DS or his sketchpad. Art and games separated him from reality, from feelings and life. Art and games were his escape, basically.

Somehow, he's sitting in a cozy chair in a cafe, surrounded by people who were _gay as fuck,_ making jokes and complaining about calculus. Kenma looked up from his PSP and grunted when Shouyou, one of his friends, pulled his hair. The orange-head smiled and braided his dyed blond hair terribly. Why did he even bother? It was a struggle when he had to untangle it.

Hinata Shouyou, eighteen years old, from Tokyo Metropolitan University. He's a bubbly, energetic, athletic, orange-haired _man-child_ who was, naturally, a flaming homosexual, much like the other members of their little "squad". Despite his height (which was 5'5"), he can jump overwhelmingly high. Talking to him seemed like Kenma was talking to the sun. Shouyou was very special to him, he was his first friend. Like, really. Not even kidding, _Shouyou was Kenma's first friend._

On the right, there was Akaashi Keiji, who was chewing on a cracker. His sharp eyes were dull, it was pretty boring. Some of his friends went to the cafe's kitchen to see one of his friend's cooking.

Akaashi Keiji, nineteen years old, also from Tokyo Metropolitan University. Akaashi was a pretty, serious, quick-witted second year who was also full homo. Kenma loved Keiji, platonically, of course. Both Keiji and Shouyou played volleyball back when they were in high-school, but not in the same school. Position? Setter. A _very_ reliable setter. The friendship he had with him was very beneficial for both of them. When Kenma was struggling with Science, he would help him. When Akaashi was struggling with Art, Kenma would help him.

A scream. Was it bad that Kenma knew who's voice that was? Even if the person who screamed was in the kitchen?

Nishinoya Yuu, also nineteen years old, still from Tokyo Metropolitan University. Yuu was a loud and short second year who, like the other members, was very homosexual. He was carefree, selfless, reliable. He didn't give up easily and his strong will was one of the best things about him. Kenma had the same video game-based humor that Kenma had. Both of them enjoyed the _t_ _he cake is a lie_ joke, a reference from the game Portal. The pudding head's friendship with Nishinoya wasn't really beneficial or special, well, it was _special,_ per se, but not as special as the friendship he had with Keiji and Shouyou.

"Why is he screaming...?" an annoyed, freckled-boy that went with the name Yamaguchi grunted. Kenma nodded and continued playing.

Yamaguchi Tadashi, an eighteen-year-old who took the law course at Tokyo Metropolitan University. Tadashi was a rather shy and lovable first year who liked wearing skirts but still identified as male, also really gay. He was quiet but clever, pessimistic. He was so _unsure_ and anxious about himself, it reminded Kenma of someone, but he couldn't put his finger on who. He also played volleyball with Hinata, both of them were on the same team and had lots of practice matches with Kenma's high-school team. They were close, but not _too_ close. They both love apple pie, as expected from a _pure_ and _innocent_ freckled child.

A student with light brown hair sitting beside Yamaguchi sighed. "I can't leave Nishinoya for five seconds, I swear,"

Yaku Morisuke, a twenty-year-old who had no choice but to go TMU. Morisuke will kick you if you mention his height, Kenma calls him demon senpai for a reason. Also very homosexual, because that's just how it is. He was honest, yet short-tempered, reliable, honest. Kenma and Yaku played in the same team back when they were in high-school, but they never really talked a lot, even if Kenma was the setter and he was the libero. To be honest, Yaku got along with Nishinoya and another friend of his'. Both of them had the same positions, so it was only natural for them.

"It's okay though, mom's with them." Yamaguchi giggled cutely. Even if Kenma didn't like him in that way, he couldn't deny that Yamaguchi was an absolute angel that needed to be protected. No homo, though.

Who was the mom?

Sugawara Koushi, a twenty-year-old who was the manager and owner of this cafe, who goes to TMU because it was close to where he worked. AKA Fallen Crows, the cafe. Koushi was just...

Absolutely motherly.

That's it, no more detailed stuff. Motherly, that's what Sugawara was. He was a motherly, clever student who's in the Top Ten best students of TMU.

"Sugawara's probably crying right now." a mousse-haired third year remarked in a sing-song voice. Oikawa was right.

Oikawa Tooru, a third year who's also in the Top Ten... no words for him.

Just extra.

_Extra._

Okay, _extra_ and _extremely talented and hot._

Kenma sighed. "Where's Ennoshita-san?" he asked quietly, trying so hard to defeat this boss. He grunted in chagrin.

Ennoshita Chikara, "co-mom" of the group. He's a second year who's in the Top Twenty. Chikara was really passionate about his job here, also in his schoolwork. Ennoshita is reliable, honest, a bit manipulative, but a kind hearted soul either way.

Finally, Kenma Kozume. Kenma was also another second year at TMU. Even so, he wasn't really special in any way. He was reliable and was known as the "heart" and "mind" of their clique.

"Customers," one word came out from Akaashi's mouth. The six boys froze. Hinata stopped playing with Kenma's hair, Oikawa stopped laughing at the memes he was browsing. Yamaguchi's jaw dropped and Yaku gulped.

Oh no.

Kenma shoved his PSP inside his backpack and _ran_ for it. He sprinted downstairs, a secret room where he could change. He almost tripped on the way down, but he was fine. When he reached the dark, secluded room, he turned on the lights and found Ennoshita there, already changing.

"I heard your footsteps, you always run when customers arrive. Here, your uniform, get ready." Chikara tossed Kenma's uniform to him. It was nothing special, just a plain, white button up, black pants and an apron. A short apron.

The pudding-head placed his bag on the stands and started stripping, putting on the uniform speedily. Once he put the garments on himself, he grabbed his shoes and tucked his feet in. God, he did all of this messily, these customers were _insane._

Kenma finished dressing up, he couldn't care less about his hair. Those... _girls_ liked it anyways. He sighed and went out, already hearing the customers' squeals and giggles.

 _Pureté,_ French for the word, _pureness_ was their 'clique' name. They were known as Pureté around their campus - yes, TMU - and they were pretty popular. Surprisingly enough. Kenma never understood why they were. Well, he _did,_ he had some amazing and talented friends, but there was nothing special about him. He didn't get why he also had a fanbase of his own.

_"It's Kenma-san!"_

_"Kozume-senpai!"_

_"...is that Kenma-senpai?"_

Kenma waved at the three girls who were muttering about him. They squealed, as expected. He will _never_ get used to this. It was a bit embarrassing, and he's been doing this for a year. Almost two.

"Kenma, come here!" Sugawara Koushi's voice rang from the kitchen. The pudding-head quickly went inside and found a sweaty silver-head, he must have done the work all by himself. No, no. Nishinoya was also there, cutting up the dough and everything else.

The third year sighed. "Here, it's for table 10."

Today was going to be a long one.

**_TO BE CONTINUED_ **

 


	2. Anges Déchus is Edgy - Anges Déchus side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Kageyama Tobio's point of view, he has always thought that this clique he was in was abnormal. Well, until he found out that there was an opposing clique called Purete. Anges Déchus - French for 'fallen angels' - was yet another group at TMU. At first, he was chill about it. Nothing wrong with an opposing team. But, now he's starting to worry. Why are Kuroo and Tsukishima plotting against them. WHAT are they plotting against them? The thought of them, the smartest guys in their group, planning something. It just scared him, scared him to death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO,
> 
> SOME ANGST,
> 
> BUT IT'S GOING TO BE FUN STILL DON'T WORRY
> 
> Also, I changed some shit up. Tsukishima and Kuroo are the ones who grew up with each other ig
> 
> so theres that,,, for the KuroTsukki shippers lmfao
> 
> BUT Tsukishima will end up with Yamaguchi, pay attention to the tags. Same for Kuroo and Kenma.
> 
> AND
> 
> TSUKISHIMA PLAYED FOR NEKOMA, SORRY ABOUT THAT

Let's jump to the other side of the story. _Anges Déchus_ , the opposing side of _Pureté_.

They weren't so different from them, actually. Just guys being guys. But less pure and more (somewhat) 'badass'. Kageyama Tobio, eighteen years old, from Tokyo Metropolitan University didn't quite agree with the term.

He never understood why they were called badass or _Anges Déchus_. It didn't make sense at all. Fallen angels? They weren't even _angels_ for starters, metaphorically speaking. Everything they did before Kageyama joined the clique was rather terrible (in the eyes of professors and faculty, but it seemed pretty cool for them). It consisted of either harmless or harmful pranks around the campus, they usually messed with guys, but sometimes the girls from the sports' teams too.

Kageyama Tobio, again, was an eighteen-year-old from TMU, who just recently joined in this little group. He played volleyball for his high school team, back when he was in Karasuno. He played with an orange head Middle Blocker that he... forgot the name of, for some reason. He was such a memorable person, yet he forgot. Anyways, Kageyama was a setter, a reliable but somehow arrogant setter. He's quick and smart when it came to sports, but never at class.

"Kageyamaaa, are you listening?" a hand started waving in front of him. "Oh, sorry, Lev-san."

Lev Haiba, another eighteen-year-old that shared a lot of classes with Kageyama. They were in the same course, after all. The difference between them was... he joined tried to join Pureté at first, but he thought about it and joined Anges Déchus last-minute. Another difference, he was from Nekoma High School - a school that had some weird ancient rivalry between Karasuno, - and he was a Middle Blocker. The captain and the setter didn't like him much, but there was this trusty libero he would always talk about, but since he had this... accident, he lost a huge portion of his memories. Including that one libero's name, but he was described to be a short guy with mousse-hued hair. Lev was... clumsy, yeah. Also half-Russian, with an amazing sister.

"Dude, are you sure about this plan - ?" the third year with a tight man bun quivered.

Kageyama sighed. "Let them be, Asahi-san."

Asahi Azumane was a twenty-year-old anxiety machine, who was in the same course with their "leader". Kageyama knew him because he played with him back when he was at Karasuno. He was actually one of the originals, AKA the people who first joined _Anges Déchus_. Kageyama knows him, but he doesn't really _know_ him, you feel? He only knew the basic things about him. The thing about him though, he would get mad when people would mess with the group. He'd go _berserk._ It was some scary shit, yeah. Even if he was a living, walking, breathing, human interpretation of anxiety, he was a strong guy. He stopped doing that though because rumors started to spread. This also happened when they were in high school. Is it because of his "delinquent-like looks"? Probably. ...okay, definitely.

"So, is that it?" the blond beside their leader pushed back his glasses. "Not bad, but I do have some objections. First of all, what the fuck, dude?"

Salt Machine, Saltass, he was known for being a salty person. Tsukishima Kei, one of the smartest people in TMU, _only a first year._ Kageyama didn't really like him, he hated him back when Kei played for Nekoma. But now, he's not too bad, actually. They shared the same dark humor and often helped him with his studies. Tsukishima grew up with their leader, who was also the captain of the Nekoma team, so, obviously, Kei had to join him. Even so, the blond doesn't like him. _Well,_ he loves him wholeheartedly and would fight anyone who hurt his childhood friend, _but_ he's a tsundere and wouldn't show it even if he had to sacrifice his lungs. Surprisingly, he isn't really romantically attached to him. Maybe if he tried to be less of a smartass _and_ a salt-ass. Nah.

"Hey, hey, hey, Tsukishima. _Calm down._ Let my bro fix this."

"Bokuto-senpai, please, let me lecture this idiot. There is no way I'm doing that."

Bokuto Koutarou, twenty years old, the heart of the team. Why heart? Because he felt emotions. Because he was _emo._ He whined constantly when things happened to him, bad things, and the clique has nicknamed it "Bokuto's emo mode". He played for Fukurodani Academy, a very popular school in Tokyo. He played with a "beautiful, amazing" setter back when he was in that school. He's fond of this plan because he gets to see Fukurodani's "beautiful, amazing" setter again. Even if their leader's intentions were not to woo them (actually...), Bokuto was determined to woo this _setter._ He had a good relationship with everybody in this group, probably 'cause he's a friendly person. Like Asahi though, he can get aggressive.

"Tsukishima."

"Daichi-san, not you too. Kageyama, volleyball idiot, help me!"

Kageyama rolled his eyes at the nickname. "No. Not with that attitude. "Volleyball idiot"? _Really?_ "

"Ugh, such a tsundere."

"Stop being a hypocrite, Saltass." Daichi sighed and continued listening.

Sawamura Daichi, one of the _most_ mature people you will _ever_ meet in your life. _Ever._ He could be a forty-five-year-old dad that looked like a twenty-year-old, honestly. He was the dad of the group and always kept the tattoo parlor running.

Wait, - yeah, tattoo parlor. All of them worked in this parlor called _Edge_ because they knew that they were edgy as fuck. They were getting paid, of course, despite being friends they _did_ had to do actual work. And it was pretty neat because the courses they were in involved art and drawing.

Back to Daichi, yeah. Sawamura is a pretty chill person but can get very angry at times. He's very well-built and reliable. Kageyama also played with him, and obviously, he was the captain. He was also remarkably good at his studies. See? He's... extremely dad-like.

Their leader glared at all of them. "Shut the fuck up," he muttered under his breath. All of them went quiet.

Kuroo Tetsurou, twenty years old and was on the same course with Daichi. He was the other dad, but with a _lot_ more problems than Sawamura. Like their other cool clique dad, Kuroo was the captain at Nekoma, as I've mentioned before. He was pretty buff and athletic, but not too good with his studies. He didn't get along with people a lot because he constantly flirted with them. Even if the person was a complete stranger. It's like... flirting is his default action. Even so, he was reliable and kind-hearted. Despite having a flirtatious persona, he was a _huge_ softie. He was also the son of a rich man who built _Edge_ and kindly let his mates work as tattoo artists.

"Kuroo, what if our plan backfires?" Tsukishima, slightly scared of him, asked. Yes, of course. There was a possibility that this plan would backfire.

Tetsurou sighed and slicked back his oily hair. "Then it backfires, if we end up-"

"No way,"

"Yes way, Tsukishima. Just... learn to be more accepting, Christ."

The blond let out an exasperated sound and crossed his arms. "Fine, I don't care. Let's get on with this stupid-ass plan."

"Don't be a salt-ass." Kageyama chuckled, Tsukishima just pushed back his glasses and rolled his eyes nonchalantly.

"Saltass is overused, you guys." a deep voice joined their conversation. "Oh, Tanaka-senpai, Iwaizumi-senpai, got the ink and other stuff?"

"Yeah, obviously."

Iwaizumi Hajime, a twenty year old guy who has incredibly nice muscles. It's his best feature. He played for Aoba Johsai and the setter Iwaizumi joined forces with was someone named Oikawa Tooru. Him and Kageyama have known each other for a  _long_ time. But, both of them don't recall any of it at all, because both of them suffered in a car incident, and were both stuck in trauma. They forgot everything, what they did together, both recalled Oikawa Tooru, but never the orange-haired spiker Kageyama played with. He was one of the smartest students in campus, but no smarter than Tsukishima. Everybody loves him, honestly. There's a fan club for him called IWAJIME, and it's filled with 'sasaengs' (I couldn't find another term for crazy fans).

Finally, Tanaka Ryuunosuke. He was nineteen and usually hung out with other cliques. Like, Nishinoya Yuu from Purete. No big deal. He played with Kageyama in Karasuno, but again, Kageyama forgot about him. Not completely, thank God. He was another spiker, but not the one he was looking for. His course was the same as Daichi's and he was one of the best, honestly. Tanaka was so good at tattooing, it was insane. He runs an instagram account where he shows off his works. He also has a fan club type of thing, but it's on Instagram, called INKS. 

That's all of them. 

 

* * *

 

**chat fic form, YOU HAVE TO READ THIS - COMPULSORY**

**saltass:** Kuroo made a stupid plan. He has a stupid smirk on his stupid face and I HATE HIM BECAUSE HE'S STUPID.

 **boxedmilk** (to my readers who read my chatfic, lmao): literally shut the fuck up oh my god

 **boxedmilk** : stupid counter: 4

 **yatogamikuroo:** it's not a stupid plan, saltass

 **yatogamikuroo** : and i thought you loved me?? ;)

 **saltass** : !!!!!!NO!!!!!

 **sawamuradaichi-kun:** Kuroo, Saltyshima. Shut your mouths.

 **saltass** : sorry daichi-san

 **assahi** : what are you guys fighting about...??

 **hot-hot-leg:** yeah wtf

 **bokutarou** : bro what's happening

 **boxedmilk** : Dear lord are u really that lazy to scroll TF up

 **bokutarou** : Kageyama no chill?

 **boxedmilk** : who tf is chill? I don't know her?

 **choccykiyoko** : Guys, stop.

 **tanakekek** : kiyoko-san love me

 **choccykiyoko** : Tanaka, you're gay. 

 **tanakekek:** im bi 

 **choccykiyoko** : Still, I'm dating Yachi-san. A freshman. 

 **boxedmilk:** nobody wants to hear abt your preferences tanaka-senpai, kuroo-san go ahead

 **yatogamikuroo** : thank you, kageyama

 **yatogamikuroo** : so, my plan is

to seduce those boys 

 **saltass:** God, save me from this man named Kuroo Tetsurou. 

 **hot-hot-leg:** save me save me i need your love before I fall 

 **saltass** : Now is not the time to make BTS references. Kindly stop. 

 **saltass:** But, SAVE ME is a bop. Would recommend. 

 **yatogamikuroo:** We need to do something to each of the members. I will assign everyone to which member. I will be trying to seduce Kenma Kozume. Tsukishima, this guy named Yamaguchi Tadashi. Kags, you're with this small guy named Hinata Shouyou. He marks easily on his thighs. 

 **boxedmilk:** why'd you have to add the thighs part uhgufuf I haven't even S E E N him yet

 **tanakekek:** you have. 

 **sawamuradaichi-kun:** you have. 

 **boxedmilk** : okay, sure? 

 

to be continued 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like how this chapter was longer than the Purete one, lmao
> 
> twitter: @stckintrma  
> instagram: tsukkiisaurus  
> tumblr: thewetbaguette.tumblr.com


End file.
